C25K app somehow never kicked in, so I decided I’d just start running, planning to stop when I needed to, hoping to do at least a quarter of a mile. I ended up running my first post-pregnancy mile! It wasn’t speedy, but it was much farther than I expected. So maybe I won’t be C25King, and just go from here…

C25K app somehow never kicked in, so I decided I’d just start running, planning to stop when I needed to, hoping to do at least a quarter of a mile. I ended up running my first post-pregnancy mile! It wasn’t speedy, but it was much farther than I expected. So maybe I won’t be C25King, and just go from here…

Feels so good to run again.

Baby’s here! Time to run again

Starting over is about as challenging as starting fresh. I haven’t really run in about a year. I’m getting back into it with C25K, which is how I started running about 4 years ago. I did W1D1 two days ago and it went totally fine. Today I jumped to W3D2, which also went well. I think I’m just going to go from here.

Running post-pregnancy has some interesting challenges. My caloric needs are a bit higher right now and I’m more prone to bouts of low blood sugar.

I’m pretty slow and I’m almost back at the beginning, but it feels so good to be running again!

Four weeks

The baby’s here! Joy! But seeing as to how this is a running blog, I will state that for two nights in a row, I’ve had dreams that I’m running. I’m barefoot, I’m going far, I’m at a good pace, and it feels amazing. I know I’ll have to ramp back up to where I was, but I’m so excited to get back to running. FOUR WEEKS. Four weeks til I can run again.

Oh! Time!

Sixteen weeks (roughly) ‘til I should be cleared to run again!

OMG. Ten weeks (roughly) ‘til baby is here. Whoa.

Timeout.

So the bad news is that I haven’t run in about four months, due to the most extreme fatigue and around-the-clock nausea I’ve had in my life, for 3 months straight.

The awesome news is that it’s because I’m growing a new person. I miss running, but oh, I will be back. I’m now too far off the path to start it up again at this point, 19 weeks in, and that’s okay. A year from now, I plan to be Monster Dashing again with the mister and the wee one cheering me on.

More to come later.

Can’t run ATM. Haven’t for over a month. It would be really easy to just flop over and do nothing. Instead I shall walk.

I haven’t run for about three weeks, and I won’t be running for another week and a half (for reasons that will remain undisclosed at this time), and I MISSSSSSS IIIIIIIIIIIT SSSSSSSO MUUUUUUUUHHHHHCCCHHHHHH WAAHHHH

I feel weak and sore and useless and uptight ‘cos I haven’t gotten any running down. Blahblahblah.

Thanks to a fellow health-conscious buddy, for just $20 I get to dip my toe into the Fitbit water with his used Ultra. The numbers and the growing flower actually motivate me to get those steps in. I’m looking forward to taking it on a run.

Other than a work-sanctioned 5k I ran (actually, wogged, but it was to shmooze with my manager), I basically took the month of June off of running. Tonight the mister and I strapped on the Veebs and went out the door to just go, to run in the night and the dark with no regard to pace, training, or any other purpose, but to just get out and run again, and it was PERFECT.

Kerberos

So. Running keeps my mood disorders under control. And my mood disorders derail my running. Stupid battles… stupid, stupid battles.

Bummer, wamp-wamp… but truth

I am highly dissatisfied and unhappy. I want to change my life.

Running’s been brilliant but only puts the anxiety at bay. It always returns with a vengeance and is relentless.

Eating better helps too, but so much of my eating choices are fear-driven and that’s not healthy.

I’m unhappy. I need a change.

* Return to vegetarianism?
* Make major reductions to the stressors in my life, with no regard to others’ feelings (who don’t necessarily have regard for mine…)
* What do I do with my free time, when I need to unplug my mind? It never, ever shuts up. Plans, theories, relationships, story-weaving… it never ends and it drives me up the wall. With the exception of drunkenness or pharmaceuticals, my mind is loud and working non-stop.
* Absolutely remove alcohol? This is a big one, and a  scary notion, to be honest
* Remove caffeine? Most days my head is full of fog until the coffee, and then I feel a lightness in mood
* The way I spend my time. I’m fucking busy and I hate it. I love my friends and family, but removing a specific element of my life will cause an utter shit-storm and frankly, I’m not sure it’s worth it.

Fitblr. I want health. I’m sick of getting by, falling behind, and the ensuing paralyzing and agonizing anxiety and depression that follows. I’m sick of it and I get no breaks unless I drink or take meds.

Something’s got to change and it may need to be a little more extreme than moving or having salad instead of a quesadilla.

I’m kind of sick of having daily challenges that so many others never even feel. Not to gripe, but I forget that most people aren’t driven by avoidance of emotional paralysis and agony.

But… I’m unhappy.

Little Fitblr Woes

So for all 3 people who read this…

Okay. You know you make your health a priority, and over the past 4 years, god knows I have! And then on Tumblr I’ve “surrounded” myself with other runners and fitblrs or whatever you want to call them, for support, inspiration, and motivation. And I’ve found that using this as a repository for mostly the thoughts of how badass I am after every run has been great.

But I’ve been utterly brought down lately by the fact that YES, my running is indeed a priority, so is managing and preventing other health issues, my career, school, oh, and keeping up with life (bills, address changes and other fallout from our recent move like oh, unpacking, freaking cleaning and laundry). Then there are the other activities which I find make life worth living, like performing in my 2 music groups. And one needs to keep up with friends and family, and I have bailed on so, so many plans and events just ‘cos I can’t do it all.

I know everyone wrestles with this junk. I don’t even have kids yet! But how the hell do people manage all this stuff in their lives? What am I missing that others seem to manage? Every day that passes that I don’t get out and run I feel like a failure for letting it slip and possibly taking an hour to relax instead. I HATE how busy I am and I have no idea how to make it stop.

How do other people manage? Do I have more going on than most, or am I just crappy at managing my shit? BLAH

Yanno what happens when I take almost a week off running (to avoid aggrivating a blooming injury due to increasing mileage too quickly)? I start craving crappy food, I start eating crappy food, I start feeling crappy, and I walk around all puffy from all the salt.

I’m running tomorrow, even if it’s just a wee bit, to get myself back together. Oh yeah, and it’s National Run Day or some such.

iwillrunforfood:


National Running Day, held annually on the first Wednesday in June, is a day when runners everywhere declare their passion for running. Wherever we are and whomever we’re with, we run—fast or slow, alone or with others, all over town or just around the block. It is a coast-to-coast celebration of a sport and activity that’s simple, inexpensive, and fun. It’s the perfect way for longtime runners to reaffirm their love of running and for beginners to kick off a lifetime and life-changing commitment.

www.runningday.org

iwillrunforfood:

National Running Day, held annually on the first Wednesday in June, is a day when runners everywhere declare their passion for running. Wherever we are and whomever we’re with, we run—fast or slow, alone or with others, all over town or just around the block. It is a coast-to-coast celebration of a sport and activity that’s simple, inexpensive, and fun. It’s the perfect way for longtime runners to reaffirm their love of running and for beginners to kick off a lifetime and life-changing commitment.

www.runningday.org